Santhosh's ramblings

I went for a walk in the hills today. I saw a tractor-trailer struggling to climb the hills with a trailer full of bricks. The driver and his helpers were trying to shift the burden around to see if the tractor could pull it up. Once loaded, however, no matter how one tries, it is not possible to reduce the load by shifting things around; the only option is to unload. Unfortunately, I am not sure what they finally did. Is this not what life is all about? Overloaded, with many things, like a beast of burden. In the past, we used to overload beasts of burden; today, we do that with our lives—with work, wants, and worries.   Weary with work—working for self-promotion and fulfillment, working for upward mobility and the rewards that come with it. However, I am reminded of a statement by Frederick Buechner:  'The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's hunger meet.'  And the invitation from the Master in Matthew 11:28,  'Are you tired? Wo

Every morning, the haunting image of the old waxified beehive tomb outside my window serves as a stark reminder of a slow demise that didn't happen overnight. Examining old pictures reveals a gradual process, taking months, if not a year, for the colony to dwindle and succumb to 'waxification'. The cause, as per expert opinions, points to the queen bee deserting the colony—an intriguing mystery in itself. A slow death preceding the final demise, rooted in the absence of the life and purpose giving presence of a queen. https://santhoshsramblings.blogspot.com/2023/11/the-inner-rot.html Reflecting on our involvement in HIV work during the early 2000s unveils a different aspect of slow death. In the pre Anti-Retroviral (ART) era, individuals without access to ART or those presenting too late faced a gradual decline due to the debilitating destruction of the immune system. The body, stripped of its protective mechanisms, couldn't fend off opportunistic infections. However, s

Growing up, I was constantly told that every aspect of life and choices you should think it over before taking decisions. Of course it was also emphasised that there is an element of faith in God too, but use your brains too! Becoming a doctor and that too a physician, who is trained to logically think through clinical problems and solve it, was great and thinking over things became a natural part of life. Mentored by excellent teachers, who role modelled critical thinking.  Later in life engaging with “Thought Leadership” (TL) programs and setting up systems for it, enhanced the skills for thinking.   Here is an example from the TL  podcasts if you want to know of this more https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-rpbxu-f014c2     But the challenge I am facing as I grow older is not thinking it over, but over thinking it! Well this is not word play, but a reality. Thinking it over – is focussed thinking about an issue. But focussed thinking comes with an end, where you either come to a solution

"This is a story of empty pockets. During a recent trip to Rome, I enjoyed an evening in the company of a group that included a young Jesuit who had spent a year in El Salvador and was due to return there soon. At one point over the course of the evening’s discussion, Father Michael described the time he had spent at one of the L’Arche communities founded by Jean Vanier. L’Arche began in 1964 when Vanier bought a home in rural France and invited two adults with mental retardation to live there with him. Some sixty L’Arche communities now exist worldwide. The guiding spirit behind L’Arche differs dramatically from the therapeutic paternalism that often structures relationships between the “normal” and the “mentally handicapped.” L’Arche is a community dedicated to the unlikely proposition that the more able should not do things to or for the less able but should, instead, live with them in covenant. Writes Vanier, “Handicapped people are teachers of . . . the strong. With their tre

(2023) I met Mrs. R after 20 years today. She and I were happy meeting each other after this long period. She said, “My elder son (who is Sero-positive) is a body builder and doing very well. Younger one is married and doing well too. I am doing fine.”    Then she told this story. “A year ago, I was waiting for my medications in the government hospital, and I saw this young lady who looked very disturbed. I went close to her and asked her what happened. She said you will not understand I am HIV positive. I smiled and told her; I am too, and I have been on medications for last 20 years. Then she said, you will not understand, I am pregnant, and I want to abort the pregnancy. I again told, I can understand, and told her my story. She after listening to my story, took my phone number and walked off. A year later I get a call from an unknown number, and it turned out to be the same lady. She did not abort, had a baby and is on treatment and doing well. This is what I do these days Sir, wh

"We were a thriving colony, having settled here about three years ago. Nestled in a well-protected location surrounded by lush foliage and trees, with nearby gardens providing ample flowers for sustenance, we were flourishing at an almost overwhelming pace. At times, I thought the growth was too rapid for my liking, but the queen mother was content, and the colony saw an influx of new workers and drones.  The period from September to December was particularly bustling, marked by the addition of numerous new members. As a worker, these were busy days – foraging for enough food and tending to the needs of the newcomers. Yet, it was all worthwhile. We were a united community, and our lives revolved around the queen mother.   One late afternoon, disaster struck. Commotion and smoke filled the air as the hive was violently dismantled by the massive hands of a human being. Many of my companions perished. I was one of the fortunate few who managed to escape alongside our queen and the dr

Traveling by train provides ample scenes for reflection and contemplation. Exiting a conference, where numerous conversations took place, the train ride became a valuable time for introspection. And then, I noticed it – a goods carriage securely locked with a robust padlock, not just one but three, with an additional metal wire holding them together. Below, there was yet another lock, unseen in the picture, reinforcing the security. This sight brought to mind two distinct conversations. One was with a friend passionate about something but hesitant to reveal it, fearing it might not unfold as desired. The other individual feared that their uncontrolled passion might inadvertently hurt others, leading to the constant act of locking it away, albeit with occasional leaks. Isn't this a common experience for many, including myself? The first lock represents behaviors stemming from preconceived ideas, notions, and perceptions, aimed at safeguarding the heart. Underpinning this is the seco