Santhosh's ramblings

What you see here is the imprint of the body and wings of a bird who tried to fly through a glass. The glass which separated the room from   the world   outside, would have been invisible to the bird’s eyes. In a hurry to get to the other side, where   the   bird thought the grass is greener, there is more to life that what it is going through   today, there   might   be something   better   on   the   other side, it hit a wall. It did not even know that there was a wall. It was so caught up in desires and dreams that the wall was invisible. And the outcome - injuries, pain and an even a broken wing! It might be sitting   somewhere   on   the   tree outside nursing its wounds! Is it not the picture of my life at times. Caught in my desires and dreams so much that I do not see the wall which is visible to others but not to me.  The world given to me is dull and I want the grass that is greener on the other side. And I hit the glass wall in my desires and urgency. I end up wounded and re

Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: “I have seen the Lord!” And she told them that he had said these things to her.” John 20:18   This is what I would like to be too. To go out and encourage each other with this news, I have seen the Lord, and tell each other what the Lord has been telling and teaching me.  But this event of recognizing and hearing Jesus, “Jesus said to her, “Mary.” She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (Which means “Teacher”).” John 20:16, was preceded by a time of confusion and discouragement. Early in the morning while it was still dark Mary went to the tomb with certain expectations and found that, it was not to be. Her expectation of closed tomb, with a dead body inside, was replaced by a picture of an open tomb with nobody around. How like me, looking at Jesus through my expectations and places where He is not to be found! Later disciples joined her, in her confusion and bewilderment. But in this season of confusion, they forg

I remember as a young child growing up with a recurrent nasal allergy and frequently falling sick. It was complicated by a history of febrile seizures. So, I was protected from undue exposure by well-meaning parents. This had in addition to the protective effect had some pleasure too. I remember enjoying the special care and concern. And at times feigning being unwell (late night when fearful thoughts come in) and parents waking up to care and console me. And this becoming a recurring behavior trait for a few years. Today as a physician I can imagine the concerns my parents would have had as non-medical people. Every possible medical treatment was tried on me, now I feel that more because of the feigning than real illness. Recently sharing a pain  I was experiencing with friends, I was wondering if I was exaggerating it to receive care more than what I really need! My old traits acting up. I have seen many such patients later in life as a doctor. I remember RK who used to come every we