Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Post IOL reflections..

Anaesthetists - Be Aware. 

I underwent an IOL implantation yesterday. I am not sure why the Anaesthetist decided on a concoction of Midazolam, Propofol and ? ketamine (I think I got all three - first two sure, third - presumption) to the well tested blocks! May be special treatment for a doctor colleague. But the experience was exhilarating. First phase - floating around in the midst of psychedelic colours, feeling on the top of the world, being transported to some kind of 'heaven' (not the real second or third as Paul would put it)....Second phase - down to earth after a loooong period of time (probably few minutes) doctors asking me to move up on the bed, feeling the pain in eye, and aware of what is happening around - the dissociative anaesthesia time, but all the time a longing to go back into phase one....Third phase, back in room, wondering why I am feeling low, yearning for phase 1! Like C S Lewis, who was surprised by Joy and was longing for it....

Anaesthetists - be aware of the addictive potential of the drugs you give....

Addicts - Beware

Talking of addictions - the day of surgery was a de-addicting one. Only 4 hours.....feeling of losing some thing when mobile was taken away. Workaholism - I am not one; Loss of control - I am not a controlling personality (at least I don't think so); feeling of incompleteness - yes...that I have not been able to clean my mails, clear my SMS, and not be found wanting....(psychologists welcome to analyse my personality) addiction to completion.....

Addicts - Beware....you could be addicted to anything....

Abled - bemoan.

Being disabled for a day, was a learning experience. One eye blinded, other partial vision due to spectacles being taken away...Sudden realization of body slowly giving up - made much more aware by having ageing parents around.... needing to ask for help.....all was a humbling experience. Perceptions on body elements weakening leading one to dependence on God, and actual inability to do routine things, leading to interdependence on each other. Parents offering support by prayer, children offering their presence, office staff available for anything, close community empathy, wife being there for everything....the community which is around you....

Abled - good to reflect on what potential we have to support those disabled among us and bemoan of the opportunities lost....

Excellent clinical care, good doctors, well meaning nurses, well planned commercial package, end of the day - i saw that it was good. 

But one is left wondering.....defective lens replaced, blocked arteries stents put in, broken bones set right, diseased bowels removed....if this is what Medicine is all about...do we need a eight year training....can we short circuit the training and train some good lens replacers, bone setters,  stentors, bowel cutters.......and leave healing to pastors and counselors....




Stations on the Road to Freedom

Dietrich Bonhoeffer(1906-1945) Discipline If you set out to seek freedom, then learn above all things to govern your soul and your sense...