Santhosh's ramblings

Discomfort with traditions did not start in this generation. Sometimes we (Baby Boomers) look at younger generations who do not want to follow any tradition and write them off in our minds. But then, when we were young, we did the same thing. The best movie I grew up with was  Fiddler on the Roof , a musical from 1964. In the ’60s, the world was struggling with these questions! So those of us who think the younger generations are the problem- remember, we too were young and were questioning things once! I have come back to my geographical roots eight weeks ago. Observing the context around me, I find it to be one of “Conservative Modernism” (if there is such a word). There are elements of tradition and conservative community life all around, but much of modernism too! And being part of some of these traditions after a long stint away has been interesting. The ones I have enjoyed and experienced thus far have had three elements: One  – Traditions bring memories from the past. B...

Front (and back) yard cleaning is a must, though the back can be ignored since people don’t see it frequently. But then, it is sore to my eyes and starts stinking if ignored for too long. I prefer to ignore  most days, after an  initial enthusiasm.  True for life too? Unseen parts left out too long…One knows what happens!  Cleaning becomes tough when leaves are sticky and wet. A heart wet with desires too - is tough to clean up…it sticks to your heart! When the ground is uneven, rocky, full of crevices, and overgrown - cleaning is more challenging. An unprepared heart is tough to manage…I don’t have much time for this :(  If the tool is crooked, not maintained well, or not used properly, cleaning becomes tough. The tool I have for my heart is effective, but I don’t use it well. (The Word). Some days it is like water rolling off a duck's back; or like a wind which cools me for a short time, and then I am sweating in the humid heat of Kerala. Neighbours’ leav...

I visited two hospitals in the past week—not as a doctor, but as a patient. The first was a busy tertiary institute where getting a slot or appointment was only possible by using my “medical professional status” and relying on friends who had done the groundwork before my visit. Yes, I use this status at times for personal benefit. 😔 The doctor I saw was young, efficient, to the point, clear, evidence-based, and supported by the most advanced technology one could ask for. Since she was masked and goggled up, it was not easy to see whether there was a frown or a smile on her face. But I have no complaints. She did her best - with respect and concern - and even offered to see me in the office a few days later if things didn’t improve. And it was free too! I left professionally assured. But as I was waiting - to cut the line 😔 - with long queues of people around, there seemed to be a resigned, matter-of-fact look on the face of the person who led me in. Was this a regular ...

I went to church last Sunday. Nothing unusual, but something was different. Returning to the church I grew up in—after a couple of decades—I learnt a few things about myself. The melodious music (a couple of English hymns too), the challenging message (delivered by a young woman—it was a special Sunday), the meaningful liturgy (if listened to well), and 2 hours and 45 minutes of mostly standing. A large number of worshippers seemed deeply engaged in everything (at least that’s what I sensed)… except me. My soul was wandering, my mind distracted and scattered, my back aching, and my hand itching to pull out the mobile to check WhatsApp now and then. (No one else had their mobiles out! Everyone had liturgy books with them.) A couple of decades ago, when I used to attend the same church, I remember being more fully “present there.” Aging and being away seem to have contributed to a few changes: inattentive and unfocused soul, distracted mind, and weak back muscles. Yes—body, mind, and sou...

Dark Clouds and Rain That Restores Early in the morning, I sat and watched the dark clouds pass by. I hoped they would move on quickly and give way to a clear, sunny day with low temperatures and gentle humidity. But that was not to be. The clouds did not pass over—they lingered. And then the rain began to fall. It was then that I realized: dark clouds are not accidental. They have a purpose. They fulfill their role - to refresh the earth with water and allow life to flourish—before they move on. And the confused poet in me awoke: “I saw the dark clouds, Moving on slowly; I hoped they would pass, As fast as they could. But I did not know, The clouds were there for a reason; A purpose to fulfill, To complete their work. To quench the thirst, The longing of a parched earth; With rain that renews and refreshes, A dry and yearning land. Lord, let the clouds remain, Until they fulfill and complete Their purpose— To renew my parched, dry soul.” Heat That Kills… or Clarifies Later, a friend w...

I  hated physics and was always more of a biology person - perhaps that’s why I ended up becoming a medical professional. The theory of relativity never made much sense to me. But interestingly, these days, I find myself learning the theory of relativity through non-physics methods. In simple terms, the theory of relativity suggests that everything is relative - motion is always measured in relation to something else. It also says that light always travels at the same speed, regardless of how fast you're moving, and that space and time are interconnected and influenced by gravity.  Albert Einstein once said,  “When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.” Everything is relative. We all face common forces and challenges, but our experience depends on how close or connected we are to those forces. Yet, there are also common desires, forces and concerns that hold us together. W...