Dying and Living

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We have been in God’s own country with family engaged in the funeral arrangements of an uncle who passed away suddenly, at a young age of 77. Yes for Kerala 77 is young to pass away! For those of us in North it might appear a bit confusing!

But this is not about age and aging – but about life and death. My uncle who passed away was not one who “made it” in the general understanding of “Making it” as of today. But the funeral was a reminder of what is “Significant; Success and Security”. The many who came and shared about my uncle, talked about – how he made their lives find significance by accepting them and being a friend to them. This was the simple “Aam Aadmi” – the local shop keepers and others, to - one Central government Principal Secretary who was his class mate and many others including family members. Many shared about how his life was about relationships with people from all religions and walks of life. Others shared about the security of a legacy he is leaving and the bigger legacy – the Kingdom he was part of which gives the ultimate security. A timely reminder for me. It was not too far off – about 8 months back I had heard similar statements about my mother who had passed away.

In the life of the dead and dying – we hear about significance from relationships, successes from the lives one impacted and security from the legacy one is leaving and the bigger hope legacy we have!

But along with that, we traveled and met with many who are not thinking about death and dying. They are thinking about life and living! The discussions we heard or the signs we picked up as we travel are much different from those we heard at the funeral.

Mansions built across villages – 4 to 8 bed roomed ones – with no occupant or single occupant – left for the larger world to see significance through “investments” – dead or live investments I do not know. Economically live investments but significance wise – are they not dead investments?

Success once was linked to positions and status seems to be changing to where and how children are faring – children’s status and position seems to be the indicator of parent’s success. And the efforts being taken to take control of this, seems to take most of the waking hours of middle aged couples.  Are we in control of this – I am not too sure.

The village I stayed for three days, has the highest “foreign remittances” to banks in India, the region being also the center of religious movements and institutions in this part of India. Security from investments - again - living or dead I am not too sure! (All depends on the spectacles one wears!)

In the midst of all these – there were people who were constantly reminding me – about relationships being key, success by life impacts one is having, and a life well lived with hope being end point. A gradual coming together of the life of the dying and the life of the living!

A community which lives with a right perspective of death while living will slowly change to becoming more “Relational” “Transformational” and “Hopeful”. And that community will be Gods own community!

How I hope I can live daily with death before me…..!

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