Santhosh's ramblings

There are three cardinal rules of driving in Delhi, and the same applies to towns and cities across India.  First, occupy any available space you find. Do not give space to others if you can avoid it. Second, do not look back or around. Some drivers even close their side view mirrors and rearview mirrors to focus solely on their forward path. Your time and destination are of utmost importance; others are not. Third, break any barriers or boundaries that can be broken. Dividing walls are to be opened up, and lanes are merely suggestions to be ignored. Do not give space to others; run alone and break boundaries if possible. This is what the daily traffic teaches me. However, there are also three cardinal rules for living. Give space to others. Life is not about racing and winning, but about journeying together. If life is about these principles, you will look back and see those who are moving slowly and offer them encouragement and space. You will also notice those around you who can be

As a young doctor, when I entered a rural mission hospital to work for a year or so, I was convinced that I was wasting my time. I was waiting to get into residency, and working there was not the optimal path to secure a residency of my choice. However, there was an inner compulsion pushing me to give it a try. On the other hand, I was certain that it would be a waste, and I expressed this to the senior doctor who had invited me to work for a year. He gently told me that a year of apparent waste might not be wasted if it helped me gain clarity about my life since I was not particularly clear at that time. I didn't believe him then, but I decided to go through with that one year of seemingly wasted time and life. In life, waiting is often viewed as a period of wasted years. However, a contemplative examination of stories from the Bible teaches us otherwise. Take Abraham, for example. He received a promise to become the father of many nations but spent his whole life wandering from p

  Recently I was admitted to a medical college for a couple of days, with a medical emergency, that too amid the COVID-19 scare. After 25 days I am still on a learning curve – the lessons I am learning through the ongoing reflections of my time at the other end of the system. I am quite confident and comfortable being the care provider, the grey-haired senior person in the team supporting and encouraging the team and sorting out challenging issues. And to leave the normal routines to the rest of the team. But to be one of the many patients in the emergency department (ER) of a tertiary care system and subsequently go through the rest of the hospital stay was a new, challenging but rewarding learning experience. As I was wheeled into the emergency department in severe pain and with absolute dysphagia at about 8.30 pm, (let me not keep you in suspense – I have an uncommon, not so-serious disease called Eosinophilic Esophagitis, (EoE) that could lead to food impaction and dysphagia, a

As one looks around and engages with people, one can see unhealthy preoccupations and callousness around health. The first issue is an unhealthy preoccupation with physical health. The body is the temple of the spirit and should be taken care of. A healthy diet, reasonable exercise, and healthy habits are important, but there is a culture of preoccupation with the body as the center of life. This is evidenced by the increasing number of executive full-body checkups and full-body scans that people undergo on a regular basis, as well as a preoccupation with any minor changes that laboratory tests reveal. The average person may not realize that there is a huge industry that wants them as their trusted client. There is also the health and nutritional supplement industry that promotes every new fad in town as the answer to all your health problems. Not to mention the increasing sales of the cosmetic industry and cosmetic medicine too. All of these contribute to an addictive preoccupation wi

What you see here is the imprint of the body and wings of a bird who tried to fly through a glass. The glass which separated the room from   the world   outside, would have been invisible to the bird’s eyes. In a hurry to get to the other side, where   the   bird thought the grass is greener, there is more to life that what it is going through   today, there   might   be something   better   on   the   other side, it hit a wall. It did not even know that there was a wall. It was so caught up in desires and dreams that the wall was invisible. And the outcome - injuries, pain and an even a broken wing! It might be sitting   somewhere   on   the   tree outside nursing its wounds! Is it not the picture of my life at times. Caught in my desires and dreams so much that I do not see the wall which is visible to others but not to me.  The world given to me is dull and I want the grass that is greener on the other side. And I hit the glass wall in my desires and urgency. I end up wounded and re

Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: “I have seen the Lord!” And she told them that he had said these things to her.” John 20:18   This is what I would like to be too. To go out and encourage each other with this news, I have seen the Lord, and tell each other what the Lord has been telling and teaching me.  But this event of recognizing and hearing Jesus, “Jesus said to her, “Mary.” She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (Which means “Teacher”).” John 20:16, was preceded by a time of confusion and discouragement. Early in the morning while it was still dark Mary went to the tomb with certain expectations and found that, it was not to be. Her expectation of closed tomb, with a dead body inside, was replaced by a picture of an open tomb with nobody around. How like me, looking at Jesus through my expectations and places where He is not to be found! Later disciples joined her, in her confusion and bewilderment. But in this season of confusion, they forg

I remember as a young child growing up with a recurrent nasal allergy and frequently falling sick. It was complicated by a history of febrile seizures. So, I was protected from undue exposure by well-meaning parents. This had in addition to the protective effect had some pleasure too. I remember enjoying the special care and concern. And at times feigning being unwell (late night when fearful thoughts come in) and parents waking up to care and console me. And this becoming a recurring behavior trait for a few years. Today as a physician I can imagine the concerns my parents would have had as non-medical people. Every possible medical treatment was tried on me, now I feel that more because of the feigning than real illness. Recently sharing a pain  I was experiencing with friends, I was wondering if I was exaggerating it to receive care more than what I really need! My old traits acting up. I have seen many such patients later in life as a doctor. I remember RK who used to come every we