Santhosh's ramblings

This has been a season of school and college get-togethers. In fact, I am writing this just after a college get-together. I have hardly attended some of these in the past. I had my legitimate reasons, but I realise it was because I had not prioritised this or seen it as important. A bit too late to recognise this.    There are a few learnings I want to share from last week’s get-togethers.   One – class get-togethers are  where you can be yourself . You cannot wear a mask – metaphorically. In the world out there, you wear multiple masks. Mostly the image mask, without realising that what others know about me colours all the image I want others to see. But in front of people who knew you in your childhood, teenage years and early twenties, image does not matter. You can be who you are, without any masks. If you wear a mask, it will be uncomfortable too. And that was why we were fooling around, maskless!  I wonder if I can live this life in my external engagement ...

A few weeks ago, I preached on “unspeakable joy” and how this joy is given to us permanently (see link below). It did not take long for that joy to dissipate, and I felt like a hypocrite. I had to re-preach the message to myself time and again to recapture that joy, according to how I was feeling at that time.   It did not take major events for this to happen. The death of a few fish I had carefully cared for in a tub. A flowering plant that I had nurtured but refused to produce any flowers. A loved one passing away at 94 years of age. A poor response to one of my writings. A scratch on the car. I wondered, why?   Each of these had upsides too, but I was feeling a sense of lost joy. The fish that had died had given birth to many, and there were young ones around. The plant had one bud which could become future hope. My aunt had lived a full life, contributing to many others - it should have been a celebration. My unnoticed writing was on a “specific topic”, and only a niche re...

Family often has a way of bursting our bubbles or balloons of our egos or ideas - metaphorically speaking. This happened to me last week.    I was proudly displaying my bird feeder and the birds enjoying it, only to be told that feeding birds actually disempowers them. The person argued that the birds might forget how to fend for themselves in the tough world because food comes too easily. While I believed I was caring for creation by looking after the birds, I was being told that I was, in fact, harming them!   Can our good intentions sometimes lead to harm?   The New Year is typically a time when we resolve to do more good for others, spurred on by an inner drive to be more generous and kinder than before. Despite a culture that encourages us to be “expressively individualistic” - I’ll touch on that later - this pricking of my bubble made me consider whether my well-meaning actions might inadvertently be causing damage.   The fish I keep in my tank, surrounded...

The season for resolutions is here.    Through life experience, I have learnt that it is better not to make resolutions or to resolve to fulfil them as early as possible. In the past, I used to forget what resolution I had made. Then I started writing them down (on paper), which became a constant source of guilt. I then decided to go digital - files and folders. Now, my memory does its own thing without my asking - it cannot remember which file or folder things are in. Recently, when looking for a 10-year-old document, I found multiple copies of various versions. I blame it on AI - I did not do this. It decided on its own.   The other issue is that 365 days is too short to complete what I want to. That is when I decided to set decade-long resolutions or seasonal directions for life. But then, I realised the memory problem still affects me! I do not know where or when I wrote or kept the 10-year-old document - hard copy or soft copy.   But I am realising that if I had...

Here is a morbid but potentially life giving blog on death!  Life and death aren’t enemies - they’re dance partners. They move together, not just in the grand scheme of existence but inside us, in every cell. It might sound grim to start with death, but stick with me - because understanding how cells die can teach us how to live with more purpose. We’ve always believed birth and death are life’s only certainties. But science is rewriting that story. Today, technology lets us choose genetic traits, surrogates, and even debate when life should end. These choices confuses our old ideas about beginnings and endings. There is more in the pipeline of technology too! But these two certainties still remain.  We are not talking about that here - something else. Death that preserves, protects and gives life.  I have been facing it every day. Every day one fish in my fish tank dies (guppies), but then I see many baby fish, swimming around. Did the mother give birth and die? (Any one...

I watched a movie this week: "14 Peaks, Nothing is Impossible." You can watch the trailer here. Yes, you guessed right, the soul is still taking time to return. But this blog is not about that.  Watching the movie was challenging. What all will humans do to find relevance and significance?  The main character of this documentary (real-life documentary) says he is not climbing 14 peaks for his significance, but as a message to the world that Sherpas of Nepal, who support all the Western climbers, should get their due acknowledgment and not just a casual mention. Because they are more proficient than all these mountaineers.   A significant and relevant movie. This movie was well appreciated by many because of the message: if you have a significant and relevant contribution to make, even if it seems impossible, you can do it if you do not give up and persevere. An excellent message.   But watching that movie led to a chain of thoughts. Life today is all about significan...