Remembering Father’s Day…

Growing up, we never had these days of remembrances! Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, Daughter’s Day Son’s Day etc. You were expected to remember each other every day and even if you did nor want, there was not much option! Especially between fathers and sons! You were dependent on each other, one for support, growth and sustenance other for significance, fulfillment and expression of his love…So it was taken for granted that you need each other, and you need to remember each other to move forward in this life….

As I grew up and moved out, with my own family and children, becoming a father myself, I needed to be reminded, to remember my father off and on. There were days, in the business of being a father, a professional, a team leader, and engaged in various other busy roles, that I needed to be reminded to remember your father well! Not that he was forgotten, I will call and ask how he is, and keep in touch, but to remember is to remember well. Remembering well takes a bit of reflection and time but there was hardly space in life for that.

But I remember times, keeping things away from him and mother to protect them from unnecessary fears and anxiety. Especially my travels into some difficult locations as part of my job. I knew that if they would know that I am traveling to a particular place, especially my mother would become anxious and start worrying. And if my father came to know, there was no way he could keep it away from my mother. One such time, I got a call from my father. He had come to know that I was traveling to the Tsunami hit areas of Andamans, and he asked me, why didn’t you tell us? I said, it is just a 2-day trip, I will be back soon, did not want mother to get worried! He did not like it, and said, if you tell us, we would be remembering and praying when you travel.

I realized that day, that though sons and daughters need to be reminded to remember their father/mother, parents do not need to be reminded to remember  their sons or daughters. They remember them each day. And that is now true for us as parents too.

But then comes another phase of life. When your parents move on. And you suddenly realize that “Sometimes you don’t know who you are counting on till they are no longer counted among the living.” Then Father’s and Mother’s day become important! To set aside time to really remember the father/mother who really remembered you without needing to be reminded...

We were privileged to have a father and mother, who are worth remembering every day. But I do realize that this may not be true for some others.

I read this today in a web site…”Yet, as I learned in my first days of ministry, the word father has become a stumbling block for some people. Divorce is common, as is birth outside wedlock. I live in a country that one popular book described as fatherless America. So, for a growing number of people, father has never meant provider, teacher, or guardian. It has meant only an aching absence—or an abusive presence.  

Moreover, even children who have grown up with a good father are all too aware of his defects, problems, and sins. The best intentions of the most virtuous dads too often get botched in execution. What we human fathers wouldn’t give our kids! But we don’t always have what they want or need; and, when we do have it, we don’t know how to give it to them without spoiling them. 

This is why Tradition tells us we must go beyond our earthly experiences and memories of fatherhood when we pray, “Our Father.” For though He is a provider, begetter, and protector, God is more unlike than like any human father, patriarch, or paternal figure. The Catechism puts it this way: “God our Father transcends the categories of the created world. To impose our own ideas in this area ‘upon him’ would be to fabricate idols to adore or pull down. To pray to the Father is to enter into his mystery as he is and as the Son has revealed him to us” Our Father: Understanding the Fatherhood of God – St. Paul Center (stpaulcenter.com)

 A great reminder, that though the father we remember today might be worth remembering for some and may not that worth in the eyes of some others, we have one father, who transcends our human experiences of fatherhood, who remembers us each hour….