Confessions of a Prejudiced Person

I am like Cavlin, at times, a heavily prejudiced individual. I hold strong opinions and biases about many issues, one of which was recently brought to light. (Including certain food!)

 

Not long ago, I was invited to a conference of professionals in a field of medicine I had neither expertise in nor knowledge about. I accepted the invitation with many prejudices and preconceived notions—only to be proven wrong!  

 

My prejudices are not limited to areas of expertise. They extend to certain people with whom I’ve had challenging experiences, and even to lifestyles, I don’t agree with. In some cases, I’ve had to eat the humble pie of being proven wrong. But even that doesn’t stop me from having preconceived notions or biases. I wonder why.  

 

In some situations, I am indifferent—I’m fixed in my assumptions and don’t want to change them. In others, I’m too preoccupied to try listening or learning. And then there are cases where I genuinely want to change, but I don’t know how to go about it.  

 

What I’ve learned from eating the humble pie is this: my prejudice is not about the other person or the context. It’s about me and how I perceive people. It’s also because I haven’t tried or don’t know the other side of the story. And, of course, if I hold a prejudice, the other person likely does too. It’s never one-sided!  

 

So, what’s the way out? Should I live with it and be willing to be proven wrong?  

 

I have a whiteboard on my work table. Every now and then, I wipe it clean and fill it with things I need to do, using non-permanent markers. Once, I made the mistake of writing with a permanent marker, and the lines are still there.  

 

I suppose this is what I should be doing with my prejudices—using non-permanent markers. I need to set aside time to clean the slate every now and then. Before cleaning, I need to listen with open ears and an open heart. Then, I can redraw a new picture.  

 

If I don’t do this, I’ll either miss out or, more often than not, be forced to eat the humble pie of being proven wrong in the future. There may be situations where I’m proven right, but those might be rare—or I might carry my prejudices to the grave.  

 

But carrying them to the grave isn’t worth it, especially since I can’t carry them to the other side anyway.  

 

I might also end up like the story in The Good Book, where Peter didn’t want to associate with those outside his community:  

 

“The next day, as the three travellers were approaching the town, Peter went out on the balcony to pray. It was about noon. Peter got hungry and started thinking about lunch. While lunch was being prepared, he fell into a trance. He saw the skies open up. Something that looked like a huge blanket, lowered by ropes at its four corners, settled on the ground. Every kind of animal, reptile, and bird you could think of was on it. Then a voice came: ‘Go to it, Peter—kill and eat.’ Peter said, ‘Oh, no, Lord. I’ve never so much as tasted food that was not kosher.’ The voice came a second time: ‘If God says it’s okay, it’s okay.’ This happened three times, and then the blanket was pulled back up into the skies.”  

 

In the end, Peter shares a meal with those he has never had before.  Better to eat before you’re forced to!