For the ageing brain only...

This blog is for those above 60; others may read at their own emotional peril! 😊  

 

Recently, getting into a crowded Metro in Delhi was a refreshing experience. The moment we got in, a young man stood up and offered his seat to us, the “uncle and aunty” who had just boarded. Grey hairs, even today, bring respect and special privileges in many places. As I wait in queues, I sometimes find people making way, occasionally offering a gentle smile—a sign that ageing does come with its benefits! Then there is the expectation that grey hair brings wisdom. In meetings, you are asked, “From your years of experience, what wisdom do you have to offer?” But little do people know that grey hair does not always translate to wisdom. Yet, the expectation itself is refreshing to the heart!  

 

The reality is that, although externally, there may be respect and expectations, internally, there is always a challenge. The creaky joints and goldfish memories are, at best, ignored or kept under wraps, away from others’ notice. (Read more on these below.) Or, like what stand-up comedians do, we make light of these issues, hoping that laughing over them might somehow blunt reality. Can reality be blunted by making light of things? Perhaps, but this seems to be what I—or at least we—hold on to!  

 

https://santhoshsramblings.blogspot.com/2024/08/creaky-joints.html

https://santhoshsramblings.blogspot.com/2023/08/gold-fish-memories-and-mediterranean.html  

 

Being in the healthcare profession, I often receive calls from friends and family members going through various challenges. Most of these seem to come from those who are not so young anymore! Just reviewing the calls over the past few weeks, I can recall a friend with a sudden diagnosis of cancer, followed by fast-progressing illness and death; another friend bedridden with a chronic illness and a crisis; a family member who has lost their “personality” due to dementia; and yet another friend who suffered an unforeseen fall and fractures…  

 

Despite what books and TED Talks tell us about ageing gracefully, the challenge of ageing is the uncertainty of what the future might bring. Whether I will be graceful or grumbling tomorrow, filled with gratitude or resentment, is linked to what my cognitive function will be like then! Our faculties are bound to fail, but who, which, and when are not in our hands. 

 

So, how can I live with tomorrow's uncertainty? The answer is not about living in tomorrow. It is about living today with grace and gratitude! Laugh at the failing body, understand reality, and embrace dependence as both desired and expected. Take life a little more lightly! Enjoy each other before you forget your spouse, family, or friends!

And recognise that, as John Swinton says, "who we are is not the sum of our neurological (or physical) configurations." 

And be reminded…  “I’ve been carrying you on my back from the day you were born, and I’ll keep on carrying you when you’re old. I’ll be there, bearing you when you’re old and grey. I’ve done it and will keep on doing it—carrying you on my back, saving you.”