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Broken hearted Christmas

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Christmas Eve was spent with a friend and family in the hospital, and late in the evening, we were crying, comforting, and grieving the loss of a loved one. On Christmas Day, what C.S. Lewis said in his book ‘A Grief Observed’ seemed real and true: “For the greater the love, the greater the grief, and the stronger the faith, the more savagely will Satan storm its fortress.”   2023 and 2022 were similar. In 2022, there was the loss of a baby in the womb of a close family friend and the loss of the mother of another friend. As I grow older, the memories of Christmas from yesteryears seem distant. Carols, cakes, celebrations, and gifts are still there but do not seem to make as much sense as they did then. Is it my ageing heart and overly sensitive soul, or is it a season given to us that we must endure and walk through?   But then, for many, Christmas is not about cakes and celebrations. Yesterday, on Christmas Eve, Ukraine was bombed again. People in Gaza, Sudan, Yemen, and Syr...
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Three Random Conversations

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Yesterday during my evening walk, I ended up having three spontaneous conversations.  Here they are, with some added ramblings.   I visited an elderly uncle who no longer recognised me, repeatedly asking who I was despite our families’ close past relationship. Once a respected technical engineer in the Middle East, he had taught us about energy conservation and sustainability, even implementing solar panels and gardens at his home. Now, he has lost most of his memories but accepts it with a smile, unlike my mother, who struggled for years with her memory loss before eventually becoming unaware of it. Will I...?   As I left the house, I recalled this poem by Bonhoeffer:   “Who am I? This or the other? Am I one person today and tomorrow another? Am I both at once? A hypocrite before others, And before myself a contemptibly woebegone weakling? . . . Who am I? They mock me, these lonely questions of mine. Whoever I am, Thou knowest, O God, I am Thine!”   Does a pers...
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Surprised by Pruning

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You ramble when your mind is all over the place. But then nature and creation can help you move from diffuse, unfocused thinking to focused thought. Garden gazing helped me in this shift. Here are three thoughts on life from a recent garden gazing. Relationships We have a small tree or shrub (or a community of shrubs) in our garden. It has not one but three or four plants. The one that gives stability is a large curry leaf plant - almost like a tree. Over years of being unattended, it has grown wild and all over the place. And climbing all over it are three or four other plants. One is a jasmine plant, which is almost like a snake creeping over the curry leaf plant. Then there is another creeper with yellow flowers. And attached to the tree are many parasitic wild plants, including mistletoe and wild orchids. It is interesting to observe that when there is “uncontrolled growth,” many others latch on. Some as support for growth and contribution to the world (like the jasmine plant), but...
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