Santhosh's ramblings

The British, along with many other things, left us with a 6 second conversation no starter. And that has become a physiological response (part of life) for most educated Indians. This is – “How are you?” and “I am fine” (or okay, doing well or other variants of fine).  The   Physiological Conversation Killer .    Once we acknowledge that I am ok and you are ok, the conversation ends. Then we struggle for other topics, and so start on climate, politics, and other irrelevant topics. Knowing very well that many a time, I am not okay and the other person may not be ok too, but it is safer to live with the I am ok and you are ok state. At one season of life, when I was engaging with young people (yes, younger than me), I tried a social experiment. I was not really doing ok (emotionally – do not try to diagnose what it is  ) and so decided to respond to “Uncle, How are you” – by a simple reverse question. “Do you want a British answer or the truth?” Most of them did not e...

This has been a season of school and college get-togethers. In fact, I am writing this just after a college get-together. I have hardly attended some of these in the past. I had my legitimate reasons, but I realise it was because I had not prioritised this or seen it as important. A bit too late to recognise this.    There are a few learnings I want to share from last week’s get-togethers.   One – class get-togethers are  where you can be yourself . You cannot wear a mask – metaphorically. In the world out there, you wear multiple masks. Mostly the image mask, without realising that what others know about me colours all the image I want others to see. But in front of people who knew you in your childhood, teenage years and early twenties, image does not matter. You can be who you are, without any masks. If you wear a mask, it will be uncomfortable too. And that was why we were fooling around, maskless!  I wonder if I can live this life in my external engagement ...