Santhosh's ramblings

It was Thursday night. Three and half years of teaching, caring, healing, building people, trying help people to see the big picture of the Kingdom of God, was coming to a culmination. As he neared the last few days of His time of this earth, the context was becoming hysterical.   The formal leadership from the existing religious institutions, whose status was being challenged by this new entrant into field, was plotting to eliminate him. The state authorities were listening to those from the formal structures and were not willing to see anything other than the stories, the leaders brought to them. The common man – the crowd, had been well brainwashed by those wielding political power and influence and were crying to murder this well meaning, innocent Rabbi.   The close friends, who were expected to stand with him, were running away. One of them, the senior finance manager had switched allegiances and was part of the gang plotting to pull the rug from under His feet. Th...

How do we measure where we are in the communities which we are part of, be it be my family, my church, my work place or other communities we are part of? Three questions to reflect on. 1.       A community is as close to its purposes as its members are. We measure where we are first by measuring ourselves. What is the purpose of my being in the community I am part of – be it be my family, my church, institution, project or organization? On scale given below try to place yourself. My purpose of being part of the community (Family/Church/Institution/Project/Organization) Me, my needs Common agenda of work and or need to live together Identity of the community, work place or institution Need for each other for the sake of growth of each other and the community God, his purposes, commonality of brokenness bound by Grace of God   2.       Then reflect on the communit...

The heart is deceitful above all things....that is what the Bible says. We can very well understand that, since our heart testifies to this when we reflect against the standards in the makers manual. But the brain is one which betrays...betrays us from understanding the status of the inner man, the spiritual which is normally expressed through external brain responses. When organic brain syndromes occur due to organic damage to the brain, one could live a normal life with very minimal deficit or end up in a persistent vegetative state. And the visible responses of inner man varies depending on the level of deficit. When cognition loss confuses our  brain, patterns of older disciplines and behaviour become pronounced and one is unsure if it is just the degenerating neuronal functions or the inner man expressing out its deep seated desires. When Chemical dysfunctions cloud brain through emotional imbalances, one is never sure if the inner man is joyful or happy, depresse...

Behavioural patterns get pronounced as one gets older. Especially if one has a dementia or similar neurodegenerative diseases. What  the behaviours that will be pronounced is not in our control. But what potentially could is in our control today. Nurture those patterns which build your inner man, build others, build a community, and even if our faculties start deteriorating one can be sure that what is pronounced will be something which will not irritating to those who care for you. Neuronal damage was thought to be permanent, with no regeneration. Supressed non functional pathways will lead to diminishing functions but overacting other pathways enhanced expression of some functions. This happens in degenerative diseases. But recent understanding of neuronal regeneration has changed our understanding. In non degenerative diseases there has been evidence of neuronal regeneration. So, if we want to prepare for a potential life of degenerating physical and cognitive functions, I ne...

Worshipping when down.... Worship has become a 'feel good' activity where at the end of worship one needs to feel good if you want to label it as 'good'. The paradigm of worship being touching the heart of God, does not seem to be up in agenda. A casual question to a worshiper getting out of a worship service would draw the following responses - awesome, cool,  excellent, uplifting, or similar sounding words. I was recently worshipping along with an elderly person with moderate stages of Alzheimers disease. You could experience that the person was a worshipper in heart, but if you had asked her, how was the worship, she would not be able to respond because she would have forgotten the experience soon. So when you are down, how does one worship? How does one rate the experience? Physically down due to illness, emotionally down due the effects of the illness, worship is an act of will, based on certain facts which one holds on to and not how one is feeling. When spi...

I thought I knew how to care. I had a "humble pride" in the fact that years of working in health care settings, and working with those communities which are hard to care for had taught me the art and attitude to care. Till today when I was in for a surprise, when my true inner colour was exposed. We had brought home people closest to us to be cared for yesterday. I considered this privilege. And I knew this will not be easy, but I was prepared. Today is Sunday. One of those persons, who has advancing Alzheimers decided to join me and my daughter to go to church. A foolish decision rationally. Just settling into a new climate and context, exposing to the hot mid day sun of Delhi the first day of arrival is not a rational thing to do. The Dementia which prevents the person from accepting any alternative and makes irritatingly repetitive requests till accepted in the affirmative was difficult, but I gave in reluctantly. (with some resentment). Reflecting on this pattern...

Reflecting on life as a community..... One end of the spectrum is what i call the "Boiling Pot community." This is where there is outright conflict, each person lives for his own plans and desires. The end point is me, mine and no more. From this stage, because of various issues, the community might move to seeming peace. This is the "Simmering Fire community". Due to contextual pressures, there is a cohabitation, but an inner cold war. There is a hai, bye relationships but still the end point continues to be me. Some where down the line, due to a common agenda which needs to be fulfilled, people move into a "Lukewarm community" where there is peaceful coexistence for a common agenda. The end point of coming together is the common agenda, usually work, ministry or institution. From there, if guided well, one moves into a "Warming community". This stage is where members are protective of community, because the identity comes from...