Santhosh's ramblings

For a middle aged man at the peak of his carer and major transition in life, this was not a good experience to go through. He has been mostly well in control of his life. He come out into this world, holding to the heel of his twin brother, earning him his name as “Heel puller” or one who deceives. This name seemed to have grown on him. He had manipulated and got the birth right by offering his tired brother some lentil soup. He along with his mother had tricked his father to give him all the blessings instead of his elder brother. Even with God, he was either negotiating or bargaining. Taking care of his father-in-laws sheep, he had managed to expand the work much more than expected by any one. His own remuneration, he planned out a strategy which yielded huge personal dividends. As he prepared to return, he planned out his strategies so well to protect his family and resources.   A driven, excellent planner, negotiator, resource generator. Any HR hiring firm would have grabbed ...

The road on which a person and his / her family, diagnosed with a life limiting illness and approaching the inevitable end of death, passes through is laid with multiple rough patches and the journey is often a challenging one. The care providers’ primary role is – as much as possible, to smoothen out the rough patches, and accompany and journey alongside much beyond the inevitable end, till such a time that the family is able to stand without this support. A care giver, whether professional non related care giver or family member, in this journey of accompaniment, will need to hold multiple roles and responsibilities, and switch these, on a dynamic basis, as the disease progresses and needs and contexts undergo various changes. The primary role of the care provider will be one of being a “Communicator ”. From the time of diagnosis, and into months after the demise of the person, this role of being an effective but compassionate communicator remains the role which will bring hope in t...

The value of Human life is difficult to ascertain. Some have tried assessing the value of the “remains” once a being ceases to be a being – between less than 1 $ to about 1900 $ – – it all depends on what you are looking for or measuring. Some have tried putting a value based on the organs we have and how much that is commercially valued. Any way organ donation continues to be a business, and so it is like what is given in the picture here, which pushes up the value much. More than 200,000/- $ But actually how much worth is a “Living human being”? I just returned from a visit to a hospital in a rural tribal location. In the HDU a girl of 8 years died in front of my eyes, due to a potentially preventable mosquito spread viral infection. The death was seen as a “matter of fact” – nothing much can be done, the health care team (including me)  and the parents – all seems to have the similar perspective – what can be done any way – it is beyond our help, this is fate – or inevitable i...

DHFs are good testing laboratories. It tests the following things. A.       Your faith in your ability to with stand the heat and fire B.       Your previous experience of electricity failing a the right time and fire dying off C.       Your faith in a God, who might deliver you! D.       Your perceptions of this God as one who is a deliverer. E.        Your ability to stick vs run F.        Your speed of running off – how soon and how fast you can run G.      Your expectation of the enabling to walk in the fire without feeling the heat H.       Your anticipation and experience of another person accompanying you in the fire I.         The ability of fire to purge the dross away J.      ...

There are various situations where we end up giving up instead of going on. Some times we go on giving up too. The inevitable giving up – are situations of people moving on from this world, positions which were for a time have to given up, places where one has been has to be said good bye to, people  move on for various needs and situations – inevitable cycle of life… There are other situations which are forced up on us, where we are forced to consider giving up. Giving up on people, places, roles, situations and contexts. These are not always “inevitable’ but “in our control” . The circumstances and situations force us and we take considered decisions to give up or hold on. The situational cycles of life. Then there are those of us who have made our behaviour cycle one of going on giving up. Fleeting and flitting from one role to another, one place to another one interest to another and the behavioural cycles go on. Interestingly, as we read through the stories from the OT, w...

As we went through the “home calling” of my mother, the events which surrounded the same, over last few days, I have been forced to reflect on a few issues, here are some stray disjointed ramblings…. Holding on Vs Releasing – Our natural tendency is to hold on, to whatever we own and or whatever/whoever is close to us. Holding on, many a times not for selfish reasons, but good and commendable reasons. But the ability to release when it has to be released and not to hold on, is what we need wisdom for. Not only release physically, but an inner release. But we need to still hold on – to memories, lessons learnt and many other things. Living daily, with detached attachment, or released holding on, is a part of our life in this world….how do I live in this balance…. A related issue is – healing vs curing, or healing without curing. Or on another perspective, life preservation vs life giving by releasing physical life….Physicians (I mean MD Medicine) are programed to cure! They...

The beginnings of our life and the initial years, we have no control over our life and what happens to us. The end and the time which is near that, we have no control. Others decide what we should do, where we should be, what we should eat and wear and many such other things… The beginning is easy – we come in new, have not had the experience of being in control but we grow up soon! Our own inner nature – tells us – take control! Adam and Eve did it, in the Garden of Eden and this is in our nature! And all this who are around tells us, helps us to move from lack of control to a controlled life, where we are in control of our life…. Over next few years we learn and excel in the art of control. We control our bodies, our minds, our heart and our emotions, and even the “spirit”….Some of us go beyond our own lives and take control of the people around, the situations around, and world around us…. Every now and then, God surprises us – by engineering circumstances and allowing ...