Santhosh's ramblings

This blog is not “philosophical” or “deep,” but it's about the reality of life! We just shifted our home. They say that after death and divorce, moving house is the most stressful experience. Interestingly, studies also show that moving house can actually lead to both death and divorce. Here's an article on that: https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/how-to-move-house-and-bypass-divorce-8508236.html That said, we've shifted homes about 10–12 times (I’ve lost count) in our 35-plus years of marriage and have managed fairly well. But this particular move feels a bit more challenging. Maybe it’s the age, or the semi-permanency of this shift, or perhaps the likelihood of yet another move now seems far-fetched. So here are three ongoing lessons from this season of shifting: One – Shifting is stressful. Accept and embrace it.   Three things that give me stress: control, confusion, and cognitive dissonance. Let me explain. Control – You are not in control! Luggage that left ...

After literally being pilgrims (some say vagabonds   ) for a few decades - moving from place to place - we now find ourselves in the season of yet another place. Supposedly, a retirement location! Finally settling down, as many expect us to. Others say it is only a “sabbatical”. Well-meaning friends ask:  Are you comfortable in the new place? Are you content with small-town life? Are you satisfied with your support systems? Some suggest that maybe  it’s a time to read, reflect, and renew—a season of rest and recovery.  Everyone has their expectations.  The key words seem to be: a season of comfort ,  contentment, and satisfaction . But to add to my confusion, I came across these two readings today! One, written by a friend in a devotional, says: “We hesitate to move out of our comfortable middle-class lives. But the world longs for authentic faith that shows up in self-giving acts of grace, justice, compassion, and love.” Jonathan Sacks, in his book, which...

Recently, in a message, one of our friends talked about Vulnerability and Authority (understood as taking responsibility for one’s own life). He said Jesus modeled vulnerability—when He opened His heart to His friends and handed over His life to His enemies—but on the other hand, He took authority by intentionally giving up His life (though He could protect and preserve it) because that was what He came for. Over the last two weeks, as we began saying goodbye to many friends we've come to know over the past few years, this truth dawned on us: the closest friends we had were those who had been open and vulnerable, and at the same time, were on an intentional journey of transformation—taking the authority and responsibility they had, to move ahead in life. And in that journey, they challenged us to be vulnerable and move ahead, too! If we put this into a Johari window format, this is how it would look: We are so grateful to have encountered many in the green box—those who challenged ...

When I left my home for my residency, I left with one trolley bag and a backpack. Two years later, we got married and came back with seven boxes. A few years later, when shifting from one part of the country to another, we had a truck full of household items. In 2020, while moving to Delhi, we had 100 boxes! Yesterday, when the truck left our house for the next destination, we had managed to bring it down to 39. A 60% reduction! We had managed to dump some junk! As we went through this process, I was left wondering about the junk we accumulate as we journey through life. Not everything is junk. Much of what we carry along has stories, memories, and dreams linked to it. But definitely, some junk tags along, too!   But then, it's not just the material junk. We manage to accumulate emotional, mental (intellectual), and at times, spiritual junk too. Emotional baggage we refuse to dump, past traumas, experiences, fears, and failures that we hold on to. Ways of thinking—fixed ways of thi...

I have ADD—Attachment Detachment Disorder! Or perhaps a variant of RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder), as specialists would call it. I am diagnosing and labeling myself because I am trying to be culturally relevant! Every emotion I experience must have a label, so I can blame it on a disorder! What I am attached to, when I gave it up (detached from it), I became disordered!    How did I come to this conclusion? While still struggling with grief—the loss of a dear friend—I thought I had learned how to manage my emotions. But then came a simple act of giving away books (Stage 9 in the picture here). I hadn’t realized how even generosity or giving up could stir unexpected emotions in my heart—or lead to a disordered heart!  There was a sense of loss in losing the books I loved!    As a physician, my first instinct is to explain this disturbance through science.     Here’s an attempt:     Feelings and emotions arise from the activation ...

Recently, while reading 'Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban' (I sense some raised eyebrows  😊 ), I came across this incident. Professor Trelawney was teaching Harry and his friends about divination—how to "unfog the future" by looking into a teacup with tea leaf sediments at the bottom. When they couldn't see beyond the "soggy brown stuff," the professor told them, "Broaden your minds, dears, and allow your eyes to see past the mundane." When Harry still couldn't see anything, his friend Ron came up with this brilliant remark: "You need your Inner Eye tested, if you ask me."     I am not advocating divination (I sense some have stopped reading this blog after the first paragraph  😞 ), but in a way, isn't this what we want too? To 'unfog' the future by sorting out our 'Inner Eye'? Especially with W.E.I.R.D. people creating havoc across the world! (W.E.I.R.D. is an acronym for Western, Educated, Industria...

Last week, a friend came to me for a medical opinion. He is diabetic, hypertensive, and has some airway diseases. After listening to his concerns, I asked him about his current medications—a routine question for any physician.     He began taking out packets of medications, one after another. Each packet contained at least three different types of medicines.      First packet: Medications for diabetes prescribed by a diabetologist. "But then," he added, "I was travelling, and a family friend’s doctor told me to add one more tablet, so I’m taking this too."      Second packet: Medications for blood pressure, prescribed by a cardiologist. "Since I felt funny at night, I started taking this twice a day instead of once, as originally instructed. And sometimes, when I feel my BP is high, I take another tablet given by my friend's doctor, just in case."   Third packet: Medications for his cough—two tablets he had been taking regularly.  F...