Loosing legacies

We are living through an interesting season as a nation. Many in the older generation - people roughly my age - struggle to understand the behaviour of the young. Having grown up in a patriarchal, male-dominated, hierarchical culture, we find it difficult when young people break away from the patterns we expect. Especially girls breaking away. Rather than admit our part in shaping this reality, which would feel like a failure, we look for scapegoats - political forces, neighbours, or anyone else. 

Yet with 65% of the population under 35, we also recognise the need to speak their language, so we try hard to learn the words and expressions they use. It feels like a kind of FOMO - whether genuine or politically motivated is hard to say.

On the other hand, the younger generation is clearly declaring, “Your generation has not left us anything to aspire to.” It may not be fully true, but looking around at the context, that is how they feel. They are a generation saying, “We will deliver ourselves from the past,” and they publicly cancel all those who do not acknowledge their role in what is happening today. Just for those who are new to these terms, here is a definition.

 

“Cancel culture can be seen as the collective act of pulling back support, visibility, or influence from someone after a misstep. But when you place past behaviour beside present‑day outrage, a tension appears: social media preserves every old remark in a permanent digital archive, and today’s sharper moral expectations often judge those earlier words without pausing to consider context, change, or growth.”

 

“The past should be the past. It can destroy the future. Live life for what tomorrow has to offer, not for what yesterday has taken away.”

 

But then our generation was taught to leave a legacy! So, we are busy building our own legacies (those who can afford to do this, I mean). That may be only 0.0001% of the population. The rest live so-called “ordinary lives.” 

 

And to build a legacy, we sometimes feel the need to tarnish the past. Otherwise, how will we stand apart? So, leaders of my age are busy finding fault with the past, and then we complain when the younger generation finds fault with us.

Definitely a confusing season of history. But then I realised it is not all that confusing. When our generation, who were once young (a few decades ago), decided to try bell-bottoms and step cuts, I still remember the frowns on our parents’ faces. And they blamed us.

(https://santhoshsramblings.blogspot.com/2026/06/bell-bottoms-and-step-cuts.html) 

I suppose we learnt from them and perfected the art of blame shifting. And the younger generation learnt from us and perfected the art of breaking out of the past. This started in the garden (Eden Gardens), and each generation perfects it and makes it relevant to the present.

 

The only thing we should do is acknowledge a few truths: we all did what we could, based on the knowledge and wisdom given to us at that time. Hopefully with the right motives. Retrospective wisdom is given so that we can help others avoid the mistakes we made, by acknowledging that we messed up too!

 

Watching Disney movies recently (which I suppose the younger generation grew up with), I realised there is much in them that connects young people to the past. I agree to disagree - perhaps even disagreeably - on ancestral spirits and their influence on the current generation, but there is much to appreciate in these movies about the “connection to the past,” both good and bad. Maybe watching some of these movies together might help more than trying too hard to be relevant.

 

 

On a serious note, in the last few months, we in our family have lost many seniors. And in two or three funerals and memorial services, the grandchildren spoke about their grandparents. Yesterday was one such occasion. Let me quote two things from the grandson who spoke about his 104-year-old granddad, who passed away recently (paraphrased version): “I know Appacha did some great things and led some very important institutions. But what I remember and hold on to is his unwavering faith in God and his discipline of lifelong learning.”

 

And then the Bishop, in his message, asked a question: how many of us remember the names of our ancestors two or three generations ago? He acknowledged that even he had forgotten the names of his grandparents. It reminded us that, for all the so-called legacy we try to build, we will be forgotten soon (or perhaps we are already forgotten too).

So, what should we do as seniors, or Baby Boomers? Let us not try too hard to imitate the young. Let us not worry too much about building a legacy either. Perhaps we should simply live a life of faithfulness and lifelong learning. 

And as for advice for Gen Z, my advice is not to give too much advice; they will learn on their own. Maybe we can just be a little more vulnerable about our mistakes. (I am slightly worried that my children are reading this).