New year resolutions

The season for resolutions is here. 

 

Through life experience, I have learnt that it is better not to make resolutions or to resolve to fulfil them as early as possible. In the past, I used to forget what resolution I had made. Then I started writing them down (on paper), which became a constant source of guilt. I then decided to go digital - files and folders. Now, my memory does its own thing without my asking - it cannot remember which file or folder things are in. Recently, when looking for a 10-year-old document, I found multiple copies of various versions. I blame it on AI - I did not do this. It decided on its own.

 

The other issue is that 365 days is too short to complete what I want to. That is when I decided to set decade-long resolutions or seasonal directions for life. But then, I realised the memory problem still affects me! I do not know where or when I wrote or kept the 10-year-old document - hard copy or soft copy.

 

But I am realising that if I had known more about the seasons of life, I would have done better. My resolutions would have been more realistic. Now it is a bit too late.

 

There are four seasons of life (two decades each, if you live up to eighty): the seasons of illusion, delusion, confabulation, and clarity.

An illusion is a misinterpretation of an actual, external sensory stimulus. The stimulus is present, but it is perceived incorrectly, often in conditions of ambiguity. 

 

This is 0–20, the season in which we live in the illusion of curtailment of freedom. We think everyone is out to curtail our freedom. Early in life, we realise the most important and common word that we should learn to live with is “no”. This is also the first word children learn. It is accentuated during the terrible twos and the teenage years. Every “no” is perceived as adults trying to control and curtail our lives and freedom.

 

If I had known that this is an illusion, I should have made “I will not” or “no resolutions” in this season and lived with more freedom than resentment.

 

A delusion is a fixed, false belief that is not based on reality and cannot be corrected by evidence or reason. 

 

This is 20–40, the season when we live in the delusion that we are in control of our lives and make every effort to take control of every situation we encounter. We fret and fume when things do not happen our way, and we manipulate and plan in such a way as to regain control. But little do we know that things are not in our hands. There are forces beyond our control at work. More on this later.

 

If I had known this season as one of delusion, I should have made more flexible and kinder resolutions.

 

Confabulation is the unintentional creation of false or distorted memories to fill in gaps in one’s memory. It is essentially an “honest lie”, as the person genuinely believes the fabricated memory to be true and has no intent to deceive. 

 

This is 40–60, the season of confusion, where you know what reality is but live otherwise. You know you are no longer in control; others are not trying to control you but have set up systems so that you have no choice but to live the way you have set up. Reality versus truth and realisations. In one sense, living a lie, because of TINA (in my justification): There Is No Alternative. But then, there is always an alternative.

I should have matured faster to the next season and made resolutions not based on TINA but TIAA (There Is Always an Alternative).

 

Clarity refers to the state of perceiving, understanding, and thinking about reality accurately and without distortion.

 

This is 60 onwards—the season when reality hits. Those around you are not trying to control you. You are no longer in control. The false truths no longer appeal to you. 

You are preparing to live by what is written in the Good Book: “I ’m telling you the very truth now: When you were young you dressed yourself and went wherever you wished, but when you get old you’ll have to stretch out your hands while someone else dresses you and takes you where you don’t want to go .” 

 

There is no more illusion or delusion of control. That is the reason I am not making any more resolutions (at least, that is my justification instead of admitting that I am being lazy).

 

But then, this is the reality of life. Life is beyond our control; there is a greater plan and Hands that are fitting together the jigsaw puzzle of life.