Confession season

I’m a recovering caffeine addict. Not just any coffee, mind you, but proper filter coffee brewed to perfection. I’ve managed to cut back to two cups a day, but if I can’t get the coffee I fancy, I’ll go out of my way to find it. Yesterday was one of those days - I told my wife we will just walk 600 metres (thanks, Google) but somehow ended up walking about 2 km just to get my two shots (not just one). Luckily, I’ve got a partner in crime - my wife also loves coffee, but she’s never been hooked. It’s a well-known fact in our family. So, this is a known known. 

And I do not think this is a fault of mine. Coffee can never be a fault!

I’m using Donald Rumsfeld’s framework to examine my little “addictions” and “holisms”.

“There are known knowns, things we know that we know; and there are known unknowns, things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns, things we do not know we don't know.”

 

Then there’s the “known unknown”. Apparently, everyone else knew I was a “mobileaholic” - but I had no idea. Family and friends have pointed it out, but I always had my reasons: it’s for work and the greater good! That is, until I tried a modified CAGE questionnaire  and scored 3 out of 4.

 

C – Ever felt you should Cut down on your gadget use? 

A – Have people Annoyed you by criticising your gadget use? 

G – Felt bad or Guilty about your gadget use? 

E – Ever opened your gadget first thing in the morning to steady your nerves (Eye-opener)? 

 

There’s another “known unknown”. Apparently, people think I’m a Travelaholic. I used to enjoy travelling, but honestly, it’s not always as easy as it sounds - especially with age creeping up and my body, mind and soul feeling the strain. The wear and tear. I always justify my trips as work-related or for a good cause.

 

And then, there’s a “known known”. I’m a recovering workaholic. My excuse? I just want to make a difference in the world! Of course, secretly, a bit of my identity and sense of importance came from my work too. I’ve made progress, but if my calendar isn’t packed, my heart sometimes feels a bit blue.

What I’m starting to see is that all four are connected. My longing for identity and fulfilment led to workaholism, (and inability to say no) which meant I travelled a lot. That work and travel required gadgets (not instruments - gadgets control me, instruments I control). And to keep up with that lifestyle, I needed a steady supply of caffeine!

 

Why am I sharing all these little confessions? Well, Lent is a good time to come clean. I invite you to do the same - 😁click comment and share your own stories! Spotting our “holisms” and addictions early can save a lot of trouble for ourselves and those around us. They’re all linked - one leads to another, and the brain’s pathways connect everything.

Unless we tackle the heart of the issue (identity, significance), one habit will simply lead to another.

 

I should have read what is given below earlier and taken it to heart. “God, I’m not trying to rule the roost, I don’t want to be king of the mountain. I haven’t meddled where I have no business or fantasized grandiose plans. I’ve kept my feet on the ground; I’ve cultivated a quiet heart. Like a baby content in its mother’s arms, my soul is a baby content.”

 

So, I should probably ground myself more and quieten heart!